It's sad to accept how time flies so fast, that the person who was once your world, the one you start and ends your day with, the reason of your existence, has just swiftly turned into someone who only says "hi!" or gives you a smile.
Or worst, just a familiar face..
With Love,
Ariane
Friday 19 December 2008
Friday 12 December 2008
Have you?
Have you ever spend your life in hoping that the perfectly arched eyebrow or hottest new lip shade will mask a painful heart?
It's always funny when I keep on saying I’m doing fine and making people believe that I can make it when I know that they are my friends, and therefore, they can never be tricked easily with my fake smiles.
But can anyone please tell me that they feel for me and know how it feels to carry the burdens in my heart?
Have you ever come to the point of realizing that love really makes you stupid? That in spite of being aware that it's useless to keep on dreaming for what could have been, you really just can’t refrain yourself from thinking that the both of you were meant to be? You keep on torturing yourself with self-inflicted pains that you should not feel if you just stop your so-called longing for the person? Like still hoping even though you’ve been disappointed, still believing even though you've been dumped and still loving even though you've been hurt so badly. Moreover, you keep on insisting that you’re the one who could satisfy his need? That you're the only one who can love him this much.
But, above all, you’re wishing that these dreams, thoughts, hopes, beliefs, and love would all go away soon for you know you had to live your life in the best possible way, yet, it seems that you just can’t. And so you keep on wasting your time waiting just for someone who left you.
With Love,
Ariane
It's always funny when I keep on saying I’m doing fine and making people believe that I can make it when I know that they are my friends, and therefore, they can never be tricked easily with my fake smiles.
But can anyone please tell me that they feel for me and know how it feels to carry the burdens in my heart?
Have you ever come to the point of realizing that love really makes you stupid? That in spite of being aware that it's useless to keep on dreaming for what could have been, you really just can’t refrain yourself from thinking that the both of you were meant to be? You keep on torturing yourself with self-inflicted pains that you should not feel if you just stop your so-called longing for the person? Like still hoping even though you’ve been disappointed, still believing even though you've been dumped and still loving even though you've been hurt so badly. Moreover, you keep on insisting that you’re the one who could satisfy his need? That you're the only one who can love him this much.
But, above all, you’re wishing that these dreams, thoughts, hopes, beliefs, and love would all go away soon for you know you had to live your life in the best possible way, yet, it seems that you just can’t. And so you keep on wasting your time waiting just for someone who left you.
With Love,
Ariane
Monday 24 November 2008
Half full or half empty?
Suppose you have a glass half filled with water. Would you say the glass is half full or half empty?
I still remember this question which was asked in our Introduction to Psychology just last year. I answered with a half full. The class was then split into two. Well, Professor Booth said that no one answered wrong. It’s just a matter of one’s observation, or point of view. He said that from both perspectives, the amount of water in the glass is the same. The only difference between each view of the glass is in one’s observation.
But why am I telling this? This past few days, everyone’s asking me, “Kung nahihirapan ka na, bakit nagtitiis ka pa?”
Well, because I love him and so he does. Thus, every single thing between us such as friendster comments, texts, chats, short time being together is enough for me in keeping the relationship we have in spite of the distance and tough communication. The glass serves as a metaphor for our relationship and water represents the good things in it. So, seeing the glass as half empty means dwelling on the lack in us while seeing it as half full means focusing more on the good things. I may sound martyr and yeah, it’s up to you to call me one.
But for me, it is always better to be optimistic than pessimistic. If you would like a full glass of water, then observing a glass as already "half full" would bring a realization of what you already have and would allow one to facilitate opportunities to fill the rest of the glass. Looking at the glass and finding joy in that makes it half filled already. But if you observe the glass to be "half empty", then you probably doesn't realize what you already have which may facilitates the losing of what you already have.
Got my point?! But let me clear this one, I am not against anyone’s opinion. Each of us is entitled to have their own and this is mine.
With Love,
Ariane
I still remember this question which was asked in our Introduction to Psychology just last year. I answered with a half full. The class was then split into two. Well, Professor Booth said that no one answered wrong. It’s just a matter of one’s observation, or point of view. He said that from both perspectives, the amount of water in the glass is the same. The only difference between each view of the glass is in one’s observation.
But why am I telling this? This past few days, everyone’s asking me, “Kung nahihirapan ka na, bakit nagtitiis ka pa?”
Well, because I love him and so he does. Thus, every single thing between us such as friendster comments, texts, chats, short time being together is enough for me in keeping the relationship we have in spite of the distance and tough communication. The glass serves as a metaphor for our relationship and water represents the good things in it. So, seeing the glass as half empty means dwelling on the lack in us while seeing it as half full means focusing more on the good things. I may sound martyr and yeah, it’s up to you to call me one.
But for me, it is always better to be optimistic than pessimistic. If you would like a full glass of water, then observing a glass as already "half full" would bring a realization of what you already have and would allow one to facilitate opportunities to fill the rest of the glass. Looking at the glass and finding joy in that makes it half filled already. But if you observe the glass to be "half empty", then you probably doesn't realize what you already have which may facilitates the losing of what you already have.
Got my point?! But let me clear this one, I am not against anyone’s opinion. Each of us is entitled to have their own and this is mine.
With Love,
Ariane
Thursday 20 November 2008
When pride gets in
I just want to share a two-sided story of a break up. This is the result of letting pride to take over in between misunderstanding.
Girl: I broke up with the guy I love so much last night. As days pass by, everything between us just becomes harder to bear until I became too paranoid and thought that he don’t love me anymore. And so, I thought that breaking up with him would be better but f*ck! It’s really overwhelming to lose him. I wanna have him back but I just don’t know how since I the one who am wanted this.
Boy: My girl broke up with me last night. She told me she’s not happy with me anymore. Thinking that continuing the relationship we have would just hurt her more, I didn’t attempt to fight the urge of keeping her anymore but I really do love her and its killing me. I really don’t want her to go but I have to set her free to prove that I love her and all I want is her happiness. Maybe this is the best for us.
With Love, Ariane
Girl: I broke up with the guy I love so much last night. As days pass by, everything between us just becomes harder to bear until I became too paranoid and thought that he don’t love me anymore. And so, I thought that breaking up with him would be better but f*ck! It’s really overwhelming to lose him. I wanna have him back but I just don’t know how since I the one who am wanted this.
Boy: My girl broke up with me last night. She told me she’s not happy with me anymore. Thinking that continuing the relationship we have would just hurt her more, I didn’t attempt to fight the urge of keeping her anymore but I really do love her and its killing me. I really don’t want her to go but I have to set her free to prove that I love her and all I want is her happiness. Maybe this is the best for us.
With Love, Ariane
Tuesday 18 November 2008
Why does it hurts so?
I don't cry a lot about you anymore but that doesn't mean I don't miss you like hell.
If I take it back to the beginning, I’d probably find no resolve strong enough to pacify me which is why I choose not to waste attempts on both. I’d stretch my memory only to the extent of knowing it's been quite a while since we separate schools. Anything beyond that is exhausting all over those 1, 2, or 3 weeks still sit at the back of my head, naturally following orders to steer clear from my everyday sight.
Rough days have been rare, but they suck. Sadly, every day’s been just that since we separate ways, and it doubles the pain that you really can't push me to be strong anymore. Before, it would've been one-two-three easy. Smiles lang, kulitan or I love yous, THEN DONE. As simple as that. It still baffles me that you had the quickest remedy to all things that suck, and that you had all ways to make me smile and feel better. I know it weren't the smiles, or the kulitan or anything else. It was you that made me believe that everything's going to be okay.
I know you still think of me once in a while, and if you haven't realized, my heart has a phenomenal empty space because of you. No, scratch that. Not you but the lack of you in my life.
I love you. The only comfort I have right now knows that you'll never forget about that, not even for a single day. Wherever you are, and whatever it is you're doing, my heart goes out to you like it always has, without a doubt.
With Love,
Ariane
If I take it back to the beginning, I’d probably find no resolve strong enough to pacify me which is why I choose not to waste attempts on both. I’d stretch my memory only to the extent of knowing it's been quite a while since we separate schools. Anything beyond that is exhausting all over those 1, 2, or 3 weeks still sit at the back of my head, naturally following orders to steer clear from my everyday sight.
Rough days have been rare, but they suck. Sadly, every day’s been just that since we separate ways, and it doubles the pain that you really can't push me to be strong anymore. Before, it would've been one-two-three easy. Smiles lang, kulitan or I love yous, THEN DONE. As simple as that. It still baffles me that you had the quickest remedy to all things that suck, and that you had all ways to make me smile and feel better. I know it weren't the smiles, or the kulitan or anything else. It was you that made me believe that everything's going to be okay.
I know you still think of me once in a while, and if you haven't realized, my heart has a phenomenal empty space because of you. No, scratch that. Not you but the lack of you in my life.
I love you. The only comfort I have right now knows that you'll never forget about that, not even for a single day. Wherever you are, and whatever it is you're doing, my heart goes out to you like it always has, without a doubt.
With Love,
Ariane
Friday 14 November 2008
Open and be close with others
It’s been two weeks since the second semester of our sophomore life had started. Same as the number of weeks we are all frustrated for being distributed in all the blocks in our level while others are in other universities now. Each and every one of us still finds it hard to adjust to our new environment and accept that what happened leads us to different lives now. But we can do nothing about it anymore. We have to accept the fact that no matter how much we cry or reminisce the past months of our lives, we can no longer have exactly the same class we had before and now in a new block with most faces are strangers to us.
What else can we do? The key is to remember they have already established a “society” and we have to find a way in. Pursue others, and don’t give up. Reach out and chat with people next to us in class. What is the worst that could happen? We are new, people will most likely forget to invite or include us, even if they want to. It just isn’t a habit for them to do things with us, so they probably won’t think about us. As well as we don’t think about them. But we have to remember, relationships take time. And it’s the best to befriend with everybody in the class like we had before in our block.
Well, don’t take it personally if others don’t reach out; everybody is busy and people have agendas. Now, how do we go about forming these relationships? Rule of thumb: never be afraid to jump in. Joining conversations will help us find potential friends who share the same interests. Even though our instincts tell us to withdraw, it is critical to fight them if we really want to break the mold.
After a couple days, I know we can already activate the main ingredient for success. People are attracted to confidence and happiness. My secret is they don’t have to know if it is genuine. If we look and act confident they won’t know the difference. No one wants to know if it is legit, but they probably will want to know us if we are quick to laugh and consistently positive. The most important thing is not to lose sight of who we are. It will take a while to feel comfortable and actually meet people, but I know that eventually the “fake” confidence won’t be an act anymore.
For those of you who consider this blog irrelevant may be thinking “Well, they’re new, who cares? This has nothing to do with me,” are probably comfortable with your established lifestyle and aren’t exactly looking for a change. Honestly, that is true: you can choose to ignore them … or you could give them a chance. You don’t have to make any commitment just by being nice to them. And who knows? We could find our new social group.
With Love,
Ariane
What else can we do? The key is to remember they have already established a “society” and we have to find a way in. Pursue others, and don’t give up. Reach out and chat with people next to us in class. What is the worst that could happen? We are new, people will most likely forget to invite or include us, even if they want to. It just isn’t a habit for them to do things with us, so they probably won’t think about us. As well as we don’t think about them. But we have to remember, relationships take time. And it’s the best to befriend with everybody in the class like we had before in our block.
Well, don’t take it personally if others don’t reach out; everybody is busy and people have agendas. Now, how do we go about forming these relationships? Rule of thumb: never be afraid to jump in. Joining conversations will help us find potential friends who share the same interests. Even though our instincts tell us to withdraw, it is critical to fight them if we really want to break the mold.
After a couple days, I know we can already activate the main ingredient for success. People are attracted to confidence and happiness. My secret is they don’t have to know if it is genuine. If we look and act confident they won’t know the difference. No one wants to know if it is legit, but they probably will want to know us if we are quick to laugh and consistently positive. The most important thing is not to lose sight of who we are. It will take a while to feel comfortable and actually meet people, but I know that eventually the “fake” confidence won’t be an act anymore.
For those of you who consider this blog irrelevant may be thinking “Well, they’re new, who cares? This has nothing to do with me,” are probably comfortable with your established lifestyle and aren’t exactly looking for a change. Honestly, that is true: you can choose to ignore them … or you could give them a chance. You don’t have to make any commitment just by being nice to them. And who knows? We could find our new social group.
With Love,
Ariane
Thursday 6 November 2008
First day
Mixed Emotions.
There was excitement, at seeing my former blockmates after the sembreak. There was sadness, at the first of many lasts over the past months. There was nervousness, over meeting new blockmates, professors, and new subjects. There was happiness, at finally being in second semester of sophomore life. More over, there was fear of how would the changes will affect each and everyone’s life. It was really an anxious day.
Okay, this is how the first day went through.
Deep breath. I forced myself to keep my head up and braced myself for the plunge. I slowly pushed, opened the door of my room and I am overwhelmed with what’s before me.
The day started with a great smile seeing my Baby waiting for me at the FCM. Wanting to make myself believe that the next days would be the same. We slightly talked about what will going to happen next.
After accompanying Kristian of getting his records for transferring to other school – it was really a hard time fixing the things he needed as we part our school ways – it’s now my turn to assess myself. I left him at CB playing DOTA with the former Js.
Clutching my bag close to my chest, I consult the bulletin board for the schedules that begins to quiver in my nervous hands. I wander through the hallway and finally enter my first classroom with Cha. Breathe. Remember to breath. In, out. With all the courage I can muster, I stepped inside: the new baby girl.
As the day went on, I kept asking myself, “What have I gotten myself into?!” Coming from J where I’m already comfortable with and got so much used to be with, there was no way to be prepared for the culture shock.
It was funny how I keep on looking around the classroom, still hoping that I would see exactly the same faces again. Still in denial that things are different now. OMG, I really want to lean my head into my desk and sob at that very moment.
If you can’t relate to my situation in any way, someday you will. Change is inevitable, at some point in your life you will be the “newbie” surrounded by unfamiliar faces and situations.
After the class, we went straight to Hot Dish Grille with my sessionmates. Yeah, not blockmates anymore. [Sigh] We talked about how our days started, our fears and hopes about the next days. We all reminisced the things that passed within the last semesters. We've really forged something special there, and there's more to come. I'm excited to see how it all unfolds.
With Love,
Ariane
There was excitement, at seeing my former blockmates after the sembreak. There was sadness, at the first of many lasts over the past months. There was nervousness, over meeting new blockmates, professors, and new subjects. There was happiness, at finally being in second semester of sophomore life. More over, there was fear of how would the changes will affect each and everyone’s life. It was really an anxious day.
Okay, this is how the first day went through.
Deep breath. I forced myself to keep my head up and braced myself for the plunge. I slowly pushed, opened the door of my room and I am overwhelmed with what’s before me.
The day started with a great smile seeing my Baby waiting for me at the FCM. Wanting to make myself believe that the next days would be the same. We slightly talked about what will going to happen next.
After accompanying Kristian of getting his records for transferring to other school – it was really a hard time fixing the things he needed as we part our school ways – it’s now my turn to assess myself. I left him at CB playing DOTA with the former Js.
Clutching my bag close to my chest, I consult the bulletin board for the schedules that begins to quiver in my nervous hands. I wander through the hallway and finally enter my first classroom with Cha. Breathe. Remember to breath. In, out. With all the courage I can muster, I stepped inside: the new baby girl.
As the day went on, I kept asking myself, “What have I gotten myself into?!” Coming from J where I’m already comfortable with and got so much used to be with, there was no way to be prepared for the culture shock.
It was funny how I keep on looking around the classroom, still hoping that I would see exactly the same faces again. Still in denial that things are different now. OMG, I really want to lean my head into my desk and sob at that very moment.
If you can’t relate to my situation in any way, someday you will. Change is inevitable, at some point in your life you will be the “newbie” surrounded by unfamiliar faces and situations.
After the class, we went straight to Hot Dish Grille with my sessionmates. Yeah, not blockmates anymore. [Sigh] We talked about how our days started, our fears and hopes about the next days. We all reminisced the things that passed within the last semesters. We've really forged something special there, and there's more to come. I'm excited to see how it all unfolds.
With Love,
Ariane
Monday 3 November 2008
FF
We have been friends since the past semesters, but this semester may change everything. Together we laugh at the most stupid shits when we have fun, bullying one another, endure boys/girls chasing us(haha), trading snacks during breaks, copying each otherst home works, getting ideas from each others as lecture goes, gossiping about our latest crushes and so on and so forth. We have shared a lot of fun memories and now face an exciting but daunting transition from first semester to the second of our sophomore life .Even though we have both changed in many ways and have had arguments of all sizes, no matter what has happened, we all want to remain friends.
All this time, we have had the privilege of attending the same subjects and courses and almost had the same class schedule. And now, as we enter separate classrooms, schools and even courses we all have decided that the only way to remain closely connected is by having regular activities we do together. Our plan to continue developing our friendship and help support each other, includes set times where we can share time and continue to create memories. For J to remain close friends, we have decided to meet up during free time, birthdays, drinking sessions where we spend the day together getting pampered and catching up on the latest school gossip. Haha
All our plans may sound like a hassle, but we feel our friendship is worth it. No, it is not going to be as easy as it has been in the past, considering we always went to school altogether, but it’s a challenge we feel that it is important to stay friends, and remain close.
Friends Forever!
With Love,
Ariane
All this time, we have had the privilege of attending the same subjects and courses and almost had the same class schedule. And now, as we enter separate classrooms, schools and even courses we all have decided that the only way to remain closely connected is by having regular activities we do together. Our plan to continue developing our friendship and help support each other, includes set times where we can share time and continue to create memories. For J to remain close friends, we have decided to meet up during free time, birthdays, drinking sessions where we spend the day together getting pampered and catching up on the latest school gossip. Haha
All our plans may sound like a hassle, but we feel our friendship is worth it. No, it is not going to be as easy as it has been in the past, considering we always went to school altogether, but it’s a challenge we feel that it is important to stay friends, and remain close.
Friends Forever!
With Love,
Ariane
Sunday 2 November 2008
You can't stand me, so sit down
Until now, I still don’t know why an old friend back in high school keeps on talking sh*ts about me when I know I’m not doing anything to make her feel that way. I’ve been a good friend with her. I didn’t do something like talking behind her back just like what she’s doing with me.
But I guess I should stop looking for answers. I’m tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything but it doesn’t mean I gave up. I just realized that I don’t need bullsh*t peers and the drama they always bring. The problem with them is that they see my glory but they don’t know my story.
Why do I have to give them the satisfaction of letting them get the best in me when I clearly know that they envy me and want to be like me? Maybe I should feel bad that they are very pitiful to want to live their lives through my downfalls. Pathetic haters are too weak to follow their own dreams and always try to find any possible way to discourage mine. Well, it’s a natural thing. I should not break down. Instead, thank them for justifying that I have a happy and beautiful life.
Therefore, friends, whenever you make mark, expect you to attract haters. That’s why you have to be careful whom you share your blessings and dream with because some folks can’t handle seeing you blessed. Know who you are and know who your TRUE friends are.
With Love,
Ariane
But I guess I should stop looking for answers. I’m tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything but it doesn’t mean I gave up. I just realized that I don’t need bullsh*t peers and the drama they always bring. The problem with them is that they see my glory but they don’t know my story.
Why do I have to give them the satisfaction of letting them get the best in me when I clearly know that they envy me and want to be like me? Maybe I should feel bad that they are very pitiful to want to live their lives through my downfalls. Pathetic haters are too weak to follow their own dreams and always try to find any possible way to discourage mine. Well, it’s a natural thing. I should not break down. Instead, thank them for justifying that I have a happy and beautiful life.
Therefore, friends, whenever you make mark, expect you to attract haters. That’s why you have to be careful whom you share your blessings and dream with because some folks can’t handle seeing you blessed. Know who you are and know who your TRUE friends are.
With Love,
Ariane
Friday 31 October 2008
Jchain
Facing up college life is an event that many dread, others nervously anticipate, and few get excited about and I really didn’t imagine that living my college life would be far better like this. At first, I thought it was all about entering the classroom, having little chit chats with your blockmates during the break, meeting few friends and seeing myself drowned in studying lectures just like what others are saying. But I found my self laughing with that BIG JOKE. Being in J was too different.
Instead of dreading the return to class, I started to get excited about it. I’m really surprised when I saw myself in the classroom not just to learn but also of the social life I have with J. I found them as one of my motivations in this course which I really didn’t want to take up. While to others, the grades we are in make a difference, being in J is a wonderfully unique experience where we focus more on how to live life not just academically. It’s not just having chit chats during the break but the whole day even during classes. It’s not just meeting very few friends but being friends with all the blockmates you have as well as the professors. It’s not all about studying but more on partying. Hell yeah, PARTY. Everyday seems to be a party whenever I’m with them. They really make me feel good about being myself.
Being in J is discovering you not just as an individual but more on a part of a social group. Highs, lows, emotions, romance, friendships, relationships, surviving, jackass, joy, sadness, broken hearts, academic, love, status, sports, temptations, shots, GMs, ff, sex (haha) are some of the words that all come to mind with the letter J.
I would not forget those times we’ve shared together. From simply laughing in every punch line, pick-up lines, adlibs, green jokes especially the “anaconda thing” and so on and so forth to gossips, cheatings and making cheat sheets, food trips, sharing problemsabout grades to a pet died to love life to family things, etc., cutting classes, playing computer games together, drinking sessions, sleepovers. We spend time together because we truly enjoy each others’ company. We don't sit around and worry about whether they like us or how long the friendship will last because there's enough trust and acceptance that we don't need to question so many things. And with that, I’ll always treasure the friendship built between each of us.
I would not say goodbye my friends, I'll just say I'll miss you, until we meet again. Keep in touch!
J is still the best block ever. I love you guys. I always will.
With Love,
Ariane
Instead of dreading the return to class, I started to get excited about it. I’m really surprised when I saw myself in the classroom not just to learn but also of the social life I have with J. I found them as one of my motivations in this course which I really didn’t want to take up. While to others, the grades we are in make a difference, being in J is a wonderfully unique experience where we focus more on how to live life not just academically. It’s not just having chit chats during the break but the whole day even during classes. It’s not just meeting very few friends but being friends with all the blockmates you have as well as the professors. It’s not all about studying but more on partying. Hell yeah, PARTY. Everyday seems to be a party whenever I’m with them. They really make me feel good about being myself.
Being in J is discovering you not just as an individual but more on a part of a social group. Highs, lows, emotions, romance, friendships, relationships, surviving, jackass, joy, sadness, broken hearts, academic, love, status, sports, temptations, shots, GMs, ff, sex (haha) are some of the words that all come to mind with the letter J.
I would not forget those times we’ve shared together. From simply laughing in every punch line, pick-up lines, adlibs, green jokes especially the “anaconda thing” and so on and so forth to gossips, cheatings and making cheat sheets, food trips, sharing problemsabout grades to a pet died to love life to family things, etc., cutting classes, playing computer games together, drinking sessions, sleepovers. We spend time together because we truly enjoy each others’ company. We don't sit around and worry about whether they like us or how long the friendship will last because there's enough trust and acceptance that we don't need to question so many things. And with that, I’ll always treasure the friendship built between each of us.
I would not say goodbye my friends, I'll just say I'll miss you, until we meet again. Keep in touch!
J is still the best block ever. I love you guys. I always will.
With Love,
Ariane
Saturday 18 October 2008
Farewell, blockmates!
Late this night, I’m crying again these tears away, still wondering what I can do or what I can say. It sucks. I can’t even help myself, my Baby, my block but just to cry. Maybe I’m hurtin’ because it was so sudden. I haven't even prepared myself for this. Seems like we were laughing so hard bullying one another and when I blinked, “poof” we’re saying goodbye now.
I know I learned a lot academically this semester, but I think I learned more about myself. I don’t have any regret becoming irregular this semester. I'm happy with the way things turned out but it's a very bittersweet feeling. I really don’t know how to say goodbye.
I know I’m exaggerating. We’re not graduating. We’re not all parting ways. Besides, it wasn’t really a goodbye since we’ll still be seeing each others somehow. But what’s just hurt is that it would never be the same again. You know, exactly the same blockmates you’re going to befriend with inside the classroom, same jokes, same everything. I’m going to miss those times when I would enter the room so sad or mad then with just a click, I’m going to smile or laugh of someone’s joke. It’s really hard to accept change but we don’t have any choice but to learn to let go and face the fact that good things never last.
Remember the tune, “Sa puso ko”. Yun un eh. Isa lang puso ko pero lahat kayo pinagkasya ko. That’s why it’s hurting me so much. You guys really became a part of me. Maybe that is why it hurts so much to lose the block that we have because it also means losing a part of me.
“Kung mawawala naman kami, may darating naman eh” –Bats
+@n6 !n@. Kahit hindi na sila dumating, wag lang kayong mawala. If I can just close my eyes entering the classroom next semester without you, I will. It’s just that I don’t want anything right now but to have the same block, especially if it’s going to be with the former Js.
I’m gonna miss you all. Let’s fight for this! I know we’re all weak but we can be strong together, right? I believe that true strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else is expecting us to fall apart. We can pass through this. Always remember that God only makes happy ending. If it’s not happy, then it’s not the end.
I love you all guys. I really do.
*Believe that everything happens for a reason. Know a good thing when you see it and don't let it slip away. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.*
With Love,
Ariane
I know I learned a lot academically this semester, but I think I learned more about myself. I don’t have any regret becoming irregular this semester. I'm happy with the way things turned out but it's a very bittersweet feeling. I really don’t know how to say goodbye.
I know I’m exaggerating. We’re not graduating. We’re not all parting ways. Besides, it wasn’t really a goodbye since we’ll still be seeing each others somehow. But what’s just hurt is that it would never be the same again. You know, exactly the same blockmates you’re going to befriend with inside the classroom, same jokes, same everything. I’m going to miss those times when I would enter the room so sad or mad then with just a click, I’m going to smile or laugh of someone’s joke. It’s really hard to accept change but we don’t have any choice but to learn to let go and face the fact that good things never last.
Remember the tune, “Sa puso ko”. Yun un eh. Isa lang puso ko pero lahat kayo pinagkasya ko. That’s why it’s hurting me so much. You guys really became a part of me. Maybe that is why it hurts so much to lose the block that we have because it also means losing a part of me.
“Kung mawawala naman kami, may darating naman eh” –Bats
+@n6 !n@. Kahit hindi na sila dumating, wag lang kayong mawala. If I can just close my eyes entering the classroom next semester without you, I will. It’s just that I don’t want anything right now but to have the same block, especially if it’s going to be with the former Js.
I’m gonna miss you all. Let’s fight for this! I know we’re all weak but we can be strong together, right? I believe that true strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else is expecting us to fall apart. We can pass through this. Always remember that God only makes happy ending. If it’s not happy, then it’s not the end.
I love you all guys. I really do.
*Believe that everything happens for a reason. Know a good thing when you see it and don't let it slip away. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.*
With Love,
Ariane
Friday 17 October 2008
I don't want you to go
*It hurts to say goodbye to the person I almost gave my life to, knowing that life won't be the same without him. But it is better to give up the feeling rather than to know I’m the only one fighting.*
He’s giving up. There are a lot of pressures that make him so irrational he almost thought that breaking up is the only answer to somehow relieve the pain in his heart or somehow free his mind from the things that bother him so much. I do understand him but damn, it just really hurts.
I want to give up, too. While we’re talking over it on text messaging, a part of me thinks that maybe it was really the best for us. That maybe we’re not really meant to be. I wanna hold on to my pride and tell him, “Go! If that’s what you really want, I’ll accept it.” But I didn’t take the risk. It’s like holding on to a sharp blade, I’m bleeding yet I don’t want to let go if that means loosing him forever.
I continue to be strong to fight the urge of still keeping the relationship we have. I'm really surprised how I transformed from a weak baby girl to a strong young lady for someone I love. I'm really happy for what I become because of him. I thought it was the end.
With Love,
Ariane
He’s giving up. There are a lot of pressures that make him so irrational he almost thought that breaking up is the only answer to somehow relieve the pain in his heart or somehow free his mind from the things that bother him so much. I do understand him but damn, it just really hurts.
I want to give up, too. While we’re talking over it on text messaging, a part of me thinks that maybe it was really the best for us. That maybe we’re not really meant to be. I wanna hold on to my pride and tell him, “Go! If that’s what you really want, I’ll accept it.” But I didn’t take the risk. It’s like holding on to a sharp blade, I’m bleeding yet I don’t want to let go if that means loosing him forever.
I continue to be strong to fight the urge of still keeping the relationship we have. I'm really surprised how I transformed from a weak baby girl to a strong young lady for someone I love. I'm really happy for what I become because of him. I thought it was the end.
With Love,
Ariane
Thursday 16 October 2008
Goodbye?
*I had a dream and it was about you. I smiled and recalled the memories we had then I noticed that tears started to fall from my eyes until it covered up my face. You know why? ‘Coz in my dream you kissed me and said goodbye.*
I know we’re not going to break up. He might just fail a subject and that’s what frightens me. He might be out of the school next semester. Yeah, I know these are just what ifs but I just can’t refrain my mind from thinking how would it be living my life without him near me. The days have been brighter because he existed and now, the nights will surely be darker if he would be gone.
He had been the treasure in my hand. He had been the one who always stood beside me. So unaware, I foolishly believed that he would always be there. I even forgot that there will come a day, when I will turn my head and he will slip away. I’m going to miss his presence. You know, the thing that when I look around the classroom, there would be him. And then he would smile when he saw me looking at him. I’ll miss that music as he calls me Baby. I’ll miss leaning on his shoulders, holding his hands, hugging him almost every minute of the day just because I feel to do so. I'll miss waking up in the morning knowing that he'll wait for me at FCM to go to school together. I’ll miss going home with him. I’ll miss his jokes. I’ll miss everything when I have him right here beside me.
I’m getting so irrational, I know, I had live my life without him before and I survived. Yet, he just became a part of it and my world seemed to start revolving around him. He became one of my sources of motivation in taking up nursing this semester. And I really don’t have an idea how to continue without him anymore.
OMG! I don’t know what to do right now. While I’m getting so paranoid here thinking about what would happen with my life at school without my Baby, I can feel how much he’s confused at this very moment on how he would tell his parents, what will happen to him the next month, where he would be going and so on and so forth. It’s hard to tell him that things will be fine, that it’s okay ‘coz I know it doesn't. Damn! I wanna relieve his heart from the depression he has right now but I don’t know how. Is being just right beside him worth my responsibility as his girl? Can my hugs and kisses enough to comfort him? It is so painful that I can’t do anything to make him feel better. It makes me feel so useless. I hate it.
With Love,
Ariane
I know we’re not going to break up. He might just fail a subject and that’s what frightens me. He might be out of the school next semester. Yeah, I know these are just what ifs but I just can’t refrain my mind from thinking how would it be living my life without him near me. The days have been brighter because he existed and now, the nights will surely be darker if he would be gone.
He had been the treasure in my hand. He had been the one who always stood beside me. So unaware, I foolishly believed that he would always be there. I even forgot that there will come a day, when I will turn my head and he will slip away. I’m going to miss his presence. You know, the thing that when I look around the classroom, there would be him. And then he would smile when he saw me looking at him. I’ll miss that music as he calls me Baby. I’ll miss leaning on his shoulders, holding his hands, hugging him almost every minute of the day just because I feel to do so. I'll miss waking up in the morning knowing that he'll wait for me at FCM to go to school together. I’ll miss going home with him. I’ll miss his jokes. I’ll miss everything when I have him right here beside me.
I’m getting so irrational, I know, I had live my life without him before and I survived. Yet, he just became a part of it and my world seemed to start revolving around him. He became one of my sources of motivation in taking up nursing this semester. And I really don’t have an idea how to continue without him anymore.
OMG! I don’t know what to do right now. While I’m getting so paranoid here thinking about what would happen with my life at school without my Baby, I can feel how much he’s confused at this very moment on how he would tell his parents, what will happen to him the next month, where he would be going and so on and so forth. It’s hard to tell him that things will be fine, that it’s okay ‘coz I know it doesn't. Damn! I wanna relieve his heart from the depression he has right now but I don’t know how. Is being just right beside him worth my responsibility as his girl? Can my hugs and kisses enough to comfort him? It is so painful that I can’t do anything to make him feel better. It makes me feel so useless. I hate it.
With Love,
Ariane
Sunday 12 October 2008
Love over bitterness
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever believe this would ever happen. I never expected that fate will put us through this.
I know we don't get to talk much anymore. Being far away from you is killing me, not sharing every day with you and not being able to hold you hurt so much but it doesn't change the way I feel about you in my heart. I'm overwhelmed with this emptiness in my chest but Baby, I love you, in love with, and everything.
If only you could hold me now, then maybe you would feel my love for you that burns with a flame high enough to last. If only you could hear my heart beat, then maybe you would understand the language of love with which it speaks. If only you could kiss me then maybe you would taste my love for you that's so sweet, and if only you could look into my eyes, the window to my soul, then you would know that this is no lie.
Please know that my love and I are inseparable and I would want it no other way and if time could express my love for you then it is forever and a day, I can't wait to be with you. The way I feel about you some people call it crazy, some call it insane, but I call it true love.
With Love,
Ariane
I know we don't get to talk much anymore. Being far away from you is killing me, not sharing every day with you and not being able to hold you hurt so much but it doesn't change the way I feel about you in my heart. I'm overwhelmed with this emptiness in my chest but Baby, I love you, in love with, and everything.
If only you could hold me now, then maybe you would feel my love for you that burns with a flame high enough to last. If only you could hear my heart beat, then maybe you would understand the language of love with which it speaks. If only you could kiss me then maybe you would taste my love for you that's so sweet, and if only you could look into my eyes, the window to my soul, then you would know that this is no lie.
Please know that my love and I are inseparable and I would want it no other way and if time could express my love for you then it is forever and a day, I can't wait to be with you. The way I feel about you some people call it crazy, some call it insane, but I call it true love.
With Love,
Ariane
Saturday 11 October 2008
How to save your relationship
I found this article at Yahoo featured.. Some good one and others are more theory.
If we, people just keep in mind these things, I'm sure, there would be no more break ups..
With Love,
Ariane
- Remember the point of the fight is to reach a solution, not to win, be right, or make your partner wrong.
- Don’t bring up all the prior problems that relate to this one. Leave the past in the past; keep this about one recent problem. Solve one thing at a time.
- Practice equality. If something is important enough to one of you, it will inevitably be important to both of you, so honor your partner’s need to solve a problem. Let your partner know you hear him or her.
- State your problem as a request, not a demand. To make it a positive request, use “I messages” and “please”.
- Don’t use power struggle tactics: guilt and obligation, threats and emotional blackmail, courtroom logic: peacekeeping, sacrificing, or hammering away are off limits.
- Know your facts: If you’re going to fight for something, know the facts about the problem: find out what options are available, and know how you feel and what would solve the problem for you.
- Don’t fight over who’s right or wrong. Opinions are opinions, and that won’t solve the problem. Instead, focus on what will work.
- Don’t guess what your partner is thinking or feeling. Instead, ask. “What do you think?” Or “How do you feel about it?” And ask if he or she has anything to add to the discussion. “Is there anything else we need to discuss now?”
- If you’re angry, express it calmly. “I’m angry about …” There’s no need for drama, and it won’t get you what you want. Anger is satisfied by being acknowledged, and by creating change. Anger is a normal emotion — rage is phony, it’s drama created by not taking care of yourself.
- Listen with your whole self. Paraphrase what your partner says; check to see if you understand by repeating what is said. “So you are angry because you think I ignored you. Is that right?”
- If you want to let off steam (vent), ask permission or take a time out. Handle your excess emotion or energy by being active (run, walk, hit a pillow,) writing, or talking to someone who is not part of the problem. Don’t direct it personally at anyone. You can’t vent and solve problems at the same time.
- Don’t try to solve a problem if you’re impaired: tired, hungry, drunk or unstable.
- Surrender to your responsibility. When you become aware that you have made a mistake, admit it, and apologize. Use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
- Hold hands, look at each other, and remember you’re partners.
If we, people just keep in mind these things, I'm sure, there would be no more break ups..
With Love,
Ariane
Friday 19 September 2008
A painful realization
For the past week, I was thinking and wondering why it was so easy for him to throw everything away. He didn't even give our "love" a chance, or at least give it a try.
Then it hit me, maybe he didn't really love me.
Maybe he never will.
Then it hit me, maybe he didn't really love me.
Maybe he never will.
Sunday 14 September 2008
Waiting in Vain
Before I close my eyes every night, I see myself coming to a person that I've waited all my life, and then this emptiness in me will wake me from my unconcious mind yet with open eyes.
Such emptiness hurts. It's like feeling like a fool, yet you're not at all for feeling that way. This craving for someone, this feeling is painful, yet you feel hopeful. You want to wait but you can't stop worrying if this thing exists for you to have. You want to ask when, but you're scared of the silence that you know you'll receive because no one will answer.
Patience is all you need to have; waiting is all you need to do.
Waiting.
Such word is the cause of the emptiness, of the hole. But you also know that's it's the right thing to do. Especially, you're hurt because you can't do anything about it.
You can just - wait.
With Love,
Ariane
Such emptiness hurts. It's like feeling like a fool, yet you're not at all for feeling that way. This craving for someone, this feeling is painful, yet you feel hopeful. You want to wait but you can't stop worrying if this thing exists for you to have. You want to ask when, but you're scared of the silence that you know you'll receive because no one will answer.
Patience is all you need to have; waiting is all you need to do.
Waiting.
Such word is the cause of the emptiness, of the hole. But you also know that's it's the right thing to do. Especially, you're hurt because you can't do anything about it.
You can just - wait.
With Love,
Ariane
Tuesday 9 September 2008
Empericism on Love?!
...as bare and empty as a blackboard before the teacher arrives...
I was so inspired by my on-the-spot report in Philosophy of Man. I really didn't study the topic coz I thought I should be reporting next week. Damned at first coz I really don’t know what to say in front of the class, I can feel that my body is shaking knowing that Prof. Tadena is terror when it comes to reporting. He keeps on asking questions regarding the report, DEEP questions about the topic.Thanks for an hour of reportin' of my 3 blockmates before me coz I was able to study it, slightly.
On John Locke's Essay Concerning Human Understanding, that was published on 1960, he tried to clarify two questions. First, where we get our ideas from and whether we can rely on what our senses tell us.
Uhhmmn, well, I made a quotation out of it. Although, I wasn't able to say it in front 'coz it seems cheesy.
"I've got an idea that he loves me because I can feel it, unfortunately, John Locke said that we can't always rely on our sensations”
With Love,
Ariane
I was so inspired by my on-the-spot report in Philosophy of Man. I really didn't study the topic coz I thought I should be reporting next week. Damned at first coz I really don’t know what to say in front of the class, I can feel that my body is shaking knowing that Prof. Tadena is terror when it comes to reporting. He keeps on asking questions regarding the report, DEEP questions about the topic.Thanks for an hour of reportin' of my 3 blockmates before me coz I was able to study it, slightly.
On John Locke's Essay Concerning Human Understanding, that was published on 1960, he tried to clarify two questions. First, where we get our ideas from and whether we can rely on what our senses tell us.
Uhhmmn, well, I made a quotation out of it. Although, I wasn't able to say it in front 'coz it seems cheesy.
"I've got an idea that he loves me because I can feel it, unfortunately, John Locke said that we can't always rely on our sensations”
With Love,
Ariane
Sunday 24 August 2008
All Js must read this
This day, I realized that bein’ single is really good at all. It’s not because there would be no heartaches but because there’s a lot of time now for me and my friends.
Real love is like being in J. It is patient and kind. You spend time together because you truly enjoy each others’ company. You don't sit around and worry about whether they like you or how long the friendship will last because there's enough trust and acceptance that you don't need to question so many things. There is no end.
Unlike infatuation. Infatuation is a powerful, intense emotion that grabs you and doesn't let go. It's like a drug. It feels like it will last forever, but in reality it only lasts a short time.
I love bein’ in J… Just so love my blockmates.
With Love,
Ariane
Real love is like being in J. It is patient and kind. You spend time together because you truly enjoy each others’ company. You don't sit around and worry about whether they like you or how long the friendship will last because there's enough trust and acceptance that you don't need to question so many things. There is no end.
Unlike infatuation. Infatuation is a powerful, intense emotion that grabs you and doesn't let go. It's like a drug. It feels like it will last forever, but in reality it only lasts a short time.
I love bein’ in J… Just so love my blockmates.
With Love,
Ariane
Friday 22 August 2008
Finally, I'm over it
Or much appropriate as over HIM?
There are a lot of things in my past that I wish didn't happen and a lot of regrets that I wish I could somehow mend or change. But today while I was lying down and trying to figure things out there was a tinge of realization that everything happens for a reason.
I was so pathetic all this time. I knew it since the beginning. But maybe I just really need to get used into it before getting over it. And being so emotionally disturbed with the past few weeks, or should I say, months finally came to an end. Thanks for the existence of Multiply where I expressed my unspoken thoughts and feelings but especially to my friends who were there during those tough times.
Now I realized that having a complicated relationship is not really a big deal. That my little problems are almost nothing compared to the heavy load others have to bear. Maybe while I whined about my stupid dumb feelings, someone else is worried about their next meal. I don't really understand half of what's going around me sometimes but I guess it is okay, nobody does anyway.
With Love,
Ariane
There are a lot of things in my past that I wish didn't happen and a lot of regrets that I wish I could somehow mend or change. But today while I was lying down and trying to figure things out there was a tinge of realization that everything happens for a reason.
I was so pathetic all this time. I knew it since the beginning. But maybe I just really need to get used into it before getting over it. And being so emotionally disturbed with the past few weeks, or should I say, months finally came to an end. Thanks for the existence of Multiply where I expressed my unspoken thoughts and feelings but especially to my friends who were there during those tough times.
Now I realized that having a complicated relationship is not really a big deal. That my little problems are almost nothing compared to the heavy load others have to bear. Maybe while I whined about my stupid dumb feelings, someone else is worried about their next meal. I don't really understand half of what's going around me sometimes but I guess it is okay, nobody does anyway.
With Love,
Ariane
Saturday 16 August 2008
How could he?
I've come to realize that much as I think of myself as a cynical skeptic, or a skeptical cynic, there will always be someone or something that will prove me wrong. Each time, I break down and slowly come to terms with the fact that I have been naive all along. Again.
I sit here, dabbing at invisible wounds because I let my defenses down. Because I trusted. Because I loved. Because I thought someone understand and care. And was genuinely happy being with me. It's like he has his one hand caressing me while the other was wielding a double-edged blade at my back. That hand distracted with such warmth, so that when the blow finally came, it hurt even more.
How could he?
I remind myself again, that I don't really want to know anymore. Don't need to know. If it hurts to hear so much, and yet know nothing at all, I don't see the point in pursuing. I'll leave those stab wounds on my back gaping and bleeding to remind myself that I slipped and loved a little too much. That he didn't care about the long and arduous journey I took just to be with him. That all he wanted and cared was his own happiness, regardless of how many people he'll hurt.
I don't want to feel so much anymore. If I have to walk around for the rest of my life with both hands covering my ears, I would do it. The knowledge that everything was nothing just isn't worth it.
With love,
Ariane
I sit here, dabbing at invisible wounds because I let my defenses down. Because I trusted. Because I loved. Because I thought someone understand and care. And was genuinely happy being with me. It's like he has his one hand caressing me while the other was wielding a double-edged blade at my back. That hand distracted with such warmth, so that when the blow finally came, it hurt even more.
How could he?
I remind myself again, that I don't really want to know anymore. Don't need to know. If it hurts to hear so much, and yet know nothing at all, I don't see the point in pursuing. I'll leave those stab wounds on my back gaping and bleeding to remind myself that I slipped and loved a little too much. That he didn't care about the long and arduous journey I took just to be with him. That all he wanted and cared was his own happiness, regardless of how many people he'll hurt.
I don't want to feel so much anymore. If I have to walk around for the rest of my life with both hands covering my ears, I would do it. The knowledge that everything was nothing just isn't worth it.
With love,
Ariane
Wednesday 13 August 2008
I don't understand
Sometimes, I don't understand why despite the hurting, I still miss you. I think of you, if everything's well. It's always been about you. I've always wanted to be there for you, and I've always wanted you to count on me. It could probably be the only way to repay you for what you've done to my life.
I don't understand. I ask myself how I can always let you make me submit and swallow my pride. Even if I initially felt the pain, you would always turn the tables on me. Or how could you actually make me feel loved and miserable at the same time. Maybe I make you feel the same?
I don't understand why I still love you, why you can't get out of my system, why we can't get out of each other's lives.
I don't understand the way it works. It seems so unfair that even if people are meant for each other, it doesn't mean that they're meant for each other now.
With Love,
Ariane
I don't understand. I ask myself how I can always let you make me submit and swallow my pride. Even if I initially felt the pain, you would always turn the tables on me. Or how could you actually make me feel loved and miserable at the same time. Maybe I make you feel the same?
I don't understand why I still love you, why you can't get out of my system, why we can't get out of each other's lives.
I don't understand the way it works. It seems so unfair that even if people are meant for each other, it doesn't mean that they're meant for each other now.
With Love,
Ariane
Sunday 3 August 2008
I shouldn't have tried it again
Love is not really for me. Nobody really stays. They come but then they always go.
But I thought this one was different. I thought he was different. I was trying to be a better person for him. But I guess that's the problem, we were too different.
Damn, he told me to forget about my exboyfriend. Move on and not to worry because he'll gonna be there for me. And so I did. But just the same, he's now starting to walk away from me. Again, without giving me any valid reason at all.
Well, I know he's not my man. I don't have the right to get hurt or even angry with him. But why does he have to make me feel I was loved? When at the middle, he would be too, ignore me?
I promised not to cry again just for another guy but I did again, just now.
With Love,
Ariane
But I thought this one was different. I thought he was different. I was trying to be a better person for him. But I guess that's the problem, we were too different.
Damn, he told me to forget about my exboyfriend. Move on and not to worry because he'll gonna be there for me. And so I did. But just the same, he's now starting to walk away from me. Again, without giving me any valid reason at all.
Well, I know he's not my man. I don't have the right to get hurt or even angry with him. But why does he have to make me feel I was loved? When at the middle, he would be too, ignore me?
I promised not to cry again just for another guy but I did again, just now.
With Love,
Ariane
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