Need Him: Finding God

This is from YouVersion's Bilble Application. It was my very first reading plan when I downloaded the App on my Android Phone last year. I decided to post it here to help others be saved and know Jesus Christ, our Savior.

Please note that I do not intend to own this article.

Why am I here? How do I beat this loneliness? What makes my life so hard? Where is that one special relationship? In such moments, you feel like something's missing, something's wrong in your world. Like perhaps there's something you haven't done, or someone you don't know but are supposed to. At times you feel you have found it, perhaps in a love relationship, but that feeling never seems to last. Every relationship, even good ones, leave you with this hole in your heart. Something isn't right, but you can't find it or fix it. So you keep looking, trying things.

Something isn't complete between you and God, but you're not sure what you're missing. Perhaps you've had these thoughts: I try to live a good life. I try to be a good person. I obey the Ten Commandments (mostly). I am nice and don't steal or kill. You're a good person. You try to be the best you can be, try to do what's right most of the time and try to do more good things than bad. So why do you still feel this void? You may even have tried more drastic ways of dulling your pain -- sex, drinking, buying new things, going to fun places, meeting the right crowd, etc. And for all this trying, there is still something missing. So what do you try next?

Maybe it's time to try God. Not "God" the Philosophy. GOD, the living Creator of the universe. More than a concept, he's a Person, a Deity. He's someone who knows who you are and where you are. He's someone who cares about you, your life, your questions. Maybe this is your time to make a connection to God that will meet your deepest need. Maybe this is your time to understand his great love for you.

God has a plan. What is it? Is your life hard? God said, "I'll carry your burdens." Lonely? "I'll never leave you." Guilt getting to you? "I'll take it away." Life after death? "I can handle that for you. I promise." God loves you as his child, and wants you to enjoy a relationship with him. He is the answer to your search for that ultimate relationship. He will fill the hole in your heart. He is the one Creator of the universe and all it contains, including you. You won't be complete inside until you have a personal relationship with the God who created you. But, there's a problem.

Please continue reading and knowing God, and download the application here. Open for iPhone/iPad, Android, BlackBerry, Windows Phone, Windows 8, HP/Palm, Java, Symbian, Mobile Web, Kindle Fire.

God bless everyone!

With Love,
Ariane

My First Snow

Aside from the light hail last December, this is my first proper snowing, as what a friend calls it.

snow from my window

For someone who were born in any of the 60 countries with a winter season, you might say, 'Yes, it's snowing, so what?'

But coming from a tropical country with only wet and dtry seasons, I had always dream of a white Christmas. Making a snowman, throwing snowballs and sledding/skiing with family and friends would surely be fun.

It is my fourth time now in London but I had never experienced any snowing for the first three visits.All during summer and autumn seasons. But late this night when I was about to close the window, here is what I saw: light dusting of snow on the ground and roofs!

I wanted to rush downstairs and greet the first snowfall of the winter season with open mouth to catch flakes on my tongue. It is a dream come true, indeed.

With Love,
Ariane

Twenty one years and counting

Last day marked my two decades and a year of existence. Yes, I turned 21 on the 12th day of January, 2012. Cool.

I did have a great birthday. It was my first time to celebrate in a foreign land. For the same reason, it was also the fourth time I celebrated with my mom.

We went to Westminster Cathedral supposedly to just light a candle and pray. Luckily, there was a mass. However, it was already in the proclamation of the Gospel when we came. It was about the return of Jesus Christ, not to punish but save us. That we don't have to worry if God is with us. And like any other Catholic Christian who wasn't able to listen to the whole Lithurgy of the Word (two or three scriptures readings), we did not receive communion.

After that, we had lunch at a Chinese buffet in London Chinatown. The atmosphere was warm and convivial. The service was prompt and perfectly satisfactory. And the food was superb! Not to mention the unlimited drinks and desert. Mom had Coke diet while mine was chinese tea. And we spent about only £19 for all! That's just about one thousand three hundred in Philippine peso. Still expensive, yes, but in Central London, that is cheap. Really.

Then we went to Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum and M&M's World, best places to celebrate a 21st birthday. Lol. We also watched some street dancing in Picadilly Circus, had some picture takings and stroll around. It was about half past nine in the evening when we came home.

Of course, it was strange. I never used to celebrate without family and friends and drinks. But it made me realize that I can let my special day pass without an alcohol. That I don't need balloons and cakes to say I'm blessed. That happiness is really an acceptance of life. That having my mom with me, who always there to support and guide, I'll be thankful.

And that hey, I'm 21 and I should know how to live on my own.. Like my friend told me, the next years of my life would be solely mine to conquer.

Anyway, let me have this opportunity to give thanks to social networks for the virtual cards, gifts, hugs and kisses from my friends in different parts of the world, mostly in the Philippines.

Most of all, thanks for another year, Papa God.

With Love,
Ariane

Tell me the Truth

My Dear Friend,

May I lovingly tell you that one day you will die and open your eyes in another world: either in...

• A state of supreme happiness and joy, exceeding anything ever known in this life, known as... HEAVEN.
• A state of unbelievable anguish, pain, and torment, exceeding anything ever known in this life, known as... HELL

There is no annihilation! There is no re-incarnation! There is no escape!

How to be sure of Heaven

REALIZE...

1. That there IS a life after death, and you MUST prepare for it.
2. That no matter how good you have or how wicked you may be, you are a sinner in God's sight.
3. That good works, Church attendance, Baptism, Confirmation, Communion, or any other ordinance can never save your soul.
4. That God's only Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, died on the Cross of Calvary to purchase salvation for you through the shedding of  His own precious Blood.

THEN...

1. Come to Him confessing your sins. He said, "Him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out." (John 6:37) Repentance is absolutely necessary for Salvation.
2. Trust Him to forgive your sins through the merit of His atonement for your sins on the cross of Calvary. his word says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to.give us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)
3. You may be tempted to think that your sins are too great for God to forgive you. Do not look at your sins or your feelings. Look only to what Lord Jesus Christ, and believe what God has said, "The blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin." (1 John 1:7)
4. Then in simple faith Trust Him to be your Saviour. "As many as received Him,to them He gave power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name." (John 1:12) Receive Home as your Saviour by simple trust in His promise.
5. The next step is to confess to someone that you are now a Christian  - that the Lord is your Saviour and that you belong to Him. When you do this sincerely, you will find assurance, and peace and joy coming into your heart." (Romans 10:9-10)
6. Read your Bible every day. Have a regular times for prayer every day. Go to services where you will meet other Christians, and find their friendship and help in your new life.

How to be sure of Hell

1. Deceive yourself by pretending or arguing that there is no such place
2. Neglect preparation for Heaven
3. Try to get to Heaven by any other way than God's way.

-Another one from a flyer from A&M McBride. God bless everyone!

With Love,
Ariane

Game of Life

I was sitting on park with Mom when a British Black Carribean man approached us and lent us flyers addressed from A&M McBride. It goes on like this.

When the final whistle blows. Which side will you be on?

Rugby, Tennis, Cricket, Hockey - great! But in the eyes of many, there is no game like football! To watch 22 players on a green grassy pitch can be electrifying, gripping, thrilling. Midfielders, strikers, goalkeepers, defence - all have their part to play. They all want their team to win! When it comes to Football, most of us are only spectators, or fans.

But let me tell you about another game in which there are no spectators, and where all are active participants. This is no 90 minute game with half-time for rest and refreshment, but last from the moment of death. It is the Game of Life. There is a winning side and a losing side. The winning side is centred around a goal - Jesus Christ. To be on the losing side is a disaster so awful to contemplate.

On the spiritual field, Jesus is the referee, the world is the pitch and the first YELLOW CARD is a WARNING to you to prepare meet God. The second YELLOW CARD is your FINAL WARNING; =a RED CARD and you are SENT OFF forever to that place the Bible calls HELL.

When the final whistle blows on your life make sure you are on the winning side. It's a goal!

With Love,
Ariane

P.S.

The Sinner's Prayer
"God be merciful to me, a sinner. I repent now of all my sins and turn from them, and place my trust alone in the Lord Jesus Christ for Salvation - I believe that the Blood of Jesus shed for me on the Cross atones for my sins. Make me a new person in Christ Jesus and give me power in my life to live for Theeand serve Thee. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen"

Revlon Just Bitten Lip Stains: Review

I love wearing lipsticks. But I have always hated how easily it smears all over my clothes and face. I used lip stains before but I lost my Care Line one before I moved here in London so I needed to bear with my lipsticks from Avon and In2it.

Then, I saw this lip stain on a Magazine while I was waiting in the Surgery for my appointment with my GP and I really tempted to buy one. I went to SuperDrug in Oxford Street and they have this promo of 3 for 2 wherein one is for 7.99 so I got 3 for only 14.98.

I thought it was weird because it comes in "marker" applicator but it seem to go on smoothly and without too much effort. I tried it in the Forbidden (red), Passion (pink) and Flame (cherry orange) and it is incredible! I supposed to have Crave than the latter but they don't have stock anymore. Anyway, it isn't thick or sticky like lipstick. And the balm keeps my lips from getting dry and gives it a glossy finish. One more thing that I love in this product is that it is flavorless.

It lasted me all day which is even better because I'm busy wandering around when going out. And it is kiss safe. The sad thing is that I don't have anyone to kiss. LOL

With Love,
Ariane

The Time Traveler’s Wife

I just finished on my volunteer work in a charity shop. It was a busy day. There were a lot of people coming in and out of the shop to donate old clothes and accessories, buy some stuffs, and just looking around.

I was about to pass the door when I saw the bookshelves on my left. New stocks. I took a look. What caught my eyes was a novel, Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger written in. It is the same book I once saw my classmate Ana reading about two years ago.

It is a story of a couple who met when Henry was 36 and Clare was six when the latter is just eight years younger than the former. How? Because Henry suffers from a Chrono-Displacement Disorder. His genetic clock resets itself at times of emotional strain and he is wrenched from his present to the past. It is not purely a romantic novel revolving around love itself - but also describes real life - family, friendship and job.

I haven't finished reading it yet but it has visceral thrill that only a few novels provide. I'll get back on this book review as soon as I am done reading.

“As I wrap my hair in a towel I see myself blurred in the mirror by steam and time seems to fold over onto itself and I see myself as a layering of all my previous days and years and all the time that is coming and suddenly I feel as though I’ve become invisible. But then the feeling is gone as fast as it came and I stand still for a minute and then I pull on my bathrobe and open the door and go on.” - Clare Abshire

With Love,
Ariane

Does heaven have a phone number?

Hello Operator, does Heaven have a phone number? Mommy went to Heaven, but I need her here today, My tummy hurts and I fell down, I need her right away, Operator can you tell me how to find her in this book. Is heaven in the yellow part, I don't know where to look. I think my daddy needs her too, at night I hear him cry. I hear him call her name sometimes, but I really don't know why. Maybe if I call her, she will hurry home to me. Is Heaven very far away, is it across the sea? She's been gone a long, long time she needs to come home now! I really need to reach her, but I simply don't know how. Help me find the number please, is it listed under "Heaven"? I can't read these big big words, I am only seven. I'm sorry operator, I didn't mean to make you cry, Is your tummy hurting too, or is there something in your eye? If I call my church maybe they will know Mommy said when we need help that's where we should go. I found the number to my church tacked up on the wall. Thank you operator, I'll give them a call. -Anonymous

I am reading random stuffs on Google when I saw this one. It made me cry. So much.

With Love,
Ariane

Wrong choice?

I'm on my way home from the Commencement, wondering what I got my self into.

Before I finished my Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree, I had seen where to go next. Take a specialty, Psychiatric Nursing a.k.a. Mental Health Nursing. But one day when I woke up, I'm already enrolled in Dental Nursing. I might have mistaken the "M" as "D". I feel a tiny pang of regret now.

I took the course because I needed proofs of UK activities when I applied for my permanent residency. I thought it was better because the training would be paid. Learning while earning, as they say. Besides, it's just a year diploma course. After that, if I pass the Board Exam, then I'll be a GDC (General Dental Council) Registered Dental Nurse. All in the matter of sixteen months. Great, isn't it?

However, tonight, I realized I made a mistake. That sixteen months is long to waste on something I never wanted to do. But if I withdraw from this course then what I'll do next? Take Psychiatric Nursing? It's now the second week of October and most universities and colleges had already started their class since last month. I don't want to waste my mum's hard earned money. Most of all, I don't want to be a quitter.

I'm here already and there's no turning back. I just wish for now that I would soon learn how to love what I'm doing.

With Love,
Ariane

Licensed to care

I had never thought of becoming a nurse. I always dreamt of having a major in Math or anything that would have me surrounded by numbers, statistics, structures, equations and the like. That is where I am (or was?) happy.

My National Career Assessment Examination result agreed with it when I had my Mathematical Ability scored out 98%. Well, my scores in other abilities are nearly the same anyway. I Yet, I ended up in nursing like most, for my family's joy.

The first year went good simply because the subjects are my favorite, Algebra, Chemistry, Physics (I actually did love Math and Science during my high school). Plus the Algebra professor was good (-looking. Haha)

But as semesters gone by, I wished the course would just be over. So I would get through my university’s day to day pain and hardships. And so I can start earning my own money, so Mum can stop working. But since it was not, I just did comply.

Then there comes the community exposure, the duties in different areas and health care establishments. I realized the path I’ve chosen taken, is not really easy after all. It is not a game to play. There are no rooms for mistake.

None of us like change, and adjustment is uncomfortable, but eventually we get there. As I did. Along the road of my college life, something clicked. I started to love nursing. It took on new meaning for me. I cherished my interactions with patients and families in crisis. I saw where each task fitted into the overall picture of caring.

And as graduation came closer, I wished I can stay longer. It was funny. I wanted it so badly but when it came fight before my hands, I craved for more days as a student nurse.

Nursing is a heart and soul experience. And passing the board exam and be registered is a huge honor for me, simply because I've gotten the chance to accomplish something I never thought I would. It's not always easy to do things your own way, but the payoff in the end sure is a lot more gratifying.

I can’t help myself thinking, what if I didn’t take up nursing? What should I be doing now? Would I be different from what I am now? Would I be happy? Maybe, I might be "normal"? And that's a scary thought.

It was a long difficult quest to get to where I am. And now, I have much more to look forward to.

With Love,
Ariane

Bringing a dead blog to life

I am here in my room browsing this Blogger account I made a week ago. All is quiet and still. I can hear blood rushing in my head, ticking of the clock, and cars whooshing by the road.

It is funny how memory erodes. I am suddenly consumed by nostalgia for the college girl who was me, who loved the stationery sets and believed in love-with-happy-endings, who spent the nights out with friends, who could make people laugh with verbalizing weird stuffs in her mind, who cannot let a week passed without blogging.

Weblog has been my outlet for self-expression. I started way back in 2007.

It is not the minutiae of my everyday life. Rather, a portal that opens up my thoughts and feelings to my trusty friends - my multiply contacts. It gives me voice to things I am not prepared to say to someone's face. But it is now a dead blog. I haven’t updated it for about two years for I became busy when I had my trainings in nursing.

It is private wherein only my contacts can read my entries. So I thought of this - making a Blogger account - a hundred times. I am not sure the world would probably want to hear what I’ve got to say. But I really do love expressing myself through writing.

With Love,
Ariane

P.S.
I  am surprised I was able to post my favorite blogs my sixteen-year-old-self has made with their real dates.

Two when tee, Oh nine!

Hooray! 2009 has nearly drawn to a close; it’s been a great year. And like all the years before, this one seemed to fly by way too fast. I’ve been through a lot of good and bad times and lets reminisce some of those.

I had my eighteenth birthday, with surprise presence of mom, passed the Far Eastern University – Dr. Nicanor Reyes Medical Foundation School of Nursing’s Battery Examination, attended the Capping and Pinning Ceremony, received my UK Visa and after several times of flight moving, fled out of the country for the very first time on Summer and on Autumn for the second, was turned down for several times no matter how much I tried, got so used of pleasing others with each and every thing I make, been through lot of arguments with mom and became closer than ever.

I also made some new friends, caught up with the olds but lose some of them. I even had my last goodbye for having my heart broken while unconciously breaking others’ and decided to remove “in a relationship” out of my vocabulary.

It’s the same year I realized some of the most important lessons in life which made me changed for better, so you see, 2009 is when I had the biggest transition in my life so far, from being a child-like baby girl to a matured young lady.

I cannot keep my self from wondering what else could ever happen this coming year. I am excited to approach a brand new year, but I hate to see this Holiday Season come to an end. I always love the New Year, January is always a great month in my calendar as, well, it is my birthday.

With Love,
Ariane

Weird

A strange feeling woke me up. I looked at the wall clock and saw it’s already half past 11 before midnight. That only when it came to me I fell asleep in the living room while watching news.

Still lying in the sofa, I surveyed my eyes around, left to right, up, then, down. Everything is in the same way the way they used to be. Nothing changed aside from the pink curtain in the window which I remembered was green.

It made me sad. Then suddenly the feeling turned into fright. I jumped out of the sofa, walked a bit fast, open the first door I saw, looked inside, then the second, as if I am looking for something, until it made me locked up my self to the last, which is the bathroom. I flushed my face with water believing I might wake up out of this nightmare, only to realize I am not.

There I sob like a kid scared of something. No, it’s not because of the curtain but of the conclusion that I am already at home. Yes, it is nice to be back but, the back of my head tells me there must be something that is missing, that if I can’t have that something, it would surely be hard to live again. Even my self cannot tell what that thing is. I waited for few minutes for an answer, while tears went running down my cheeks, but nothing came. I laughed. How could I just act weird and cried without knowing what the reason behind is?

I went to my room, tried to go back to sleep when I discerned I just miss Mom. I miss it that when I wake up bad in the middle of the night, finding her arms securely wrapped around me, I would just close my eyes again and everything else will be fine. Or if not that way, I could just hug her tight.

Am I frightened of the the fact that I have to continue again a life I once had? Or maybe, to stop what I had just started?

With Love,
Ariane

Playing safe

I've put up some walls to protect myself for quite some time - I've never gotten myself close enough to someone to talk about my deepest darkest secrets except my best friend. I'd get close, but the path I chose to define for myself was the path of listening. I'd always be the ear, with the occasional rambling of random blab. I'd contribute bits about myself, but not to a point of entirety - my walls were high and I didn't want to tear them down because it was just... comfortable. I've kept myself in a palace where I felt safe.

But I changed. Without being aware, I become more comfortable with these social groups I belong. I begin to talk and talk and talk so much about my self. I didn’t even notice that I already shared them my deeper, inner thoughts, my feelings. It’s where I feel safe now.

Happy and contented

I had my last break up almost five months ago, also the longest period of time I’ve been single since I entered my first relationship.

Yeah, there are several men trying to change that . But I didn’t allow them, not allowing them and may be, won’t even allow them to. I admit I have crushes but no more than that.

I didn’t know why. I thought it were all about my last boyfriend. That maybe I still love him and have to win him back. But it’s not all about him anymore.

It is just that I’m not yet ready to be committed again. I’m happy for what I am now. SINGLE. I have more time for my self and my friends. I can focus on my studies without waiting for someone’s call or text. I can be around my self without someone trying to change me. I can talk with guys without someone getting jealous. I’m not required to tell someone where I am and what I am doing. I don’t have other priority except my self. I don’t have worries about break up. I have my world just mine.

Besides, I can’t feel that so-called “spark” to any one right now. And I haven’t found yet the man who is worthy enough for me to give up this freedom I have right now.

Don’t I make sense? Do you think I’m being so irrational?

With Love,
Ariane

Bicentennial Man

I was cleaning up my room few hours ago when I saw a piece of paper. It has quotations/dialogues I’ve wrote down last September from Bicentennial Man, a movie that was assigned for our group for a Movie Review in our class, Philosophy of Man.

The words are so inspiring so I’ve decided to make a blog for it. Well actually, I supposed to make one right after the day we’ve watched the film. I just can’t remember why I did not.


Three Laws of Robotics

• A robot may not cause harm to human being or through an action, cause a human being come to harm
• A robot must obey all human orders except those orders that conflict with the first law.
• A robot must protect itself for as long as doing so does not conflict with the first two laws.

“Andrew is not a person. He is a property. But a property is also important.”


“It doesn’t matter what he is. One needed to be benefit for what he does.”


“Things change. Things always change. People move on, as it should be.”


“One merely wishes to be declared to be free. Terrible wars have been fought where millions have died for one idea, freedom. And it seems that something that means so much to so many people would be worth having.”


“We have personality. Personality is much more important than intelligence.”


“Imperfection is what makes us unique.”


“It’s cruel that you can cry and I cannot. There is a terrible pain that that needed to express. Will all the people that I care for always leave?”


“Take chances, make mistake. Sometimes, it’s not important not to be perfect but do the wrong thing. Not to learn from your mistakes. We need to make them to find out what is real and what is not, to find out what you feel. Human beings are terrible messes.”


“He wants to be acknowledged for who he is. No more, no less. Not for acclaims, not for approval but the simple truth or recognition. And it needs to achieve he have to live or die with dignity.”


With Love,
Ariane

You Were

You were my first crush in FEU-NRMF. Someone I called gay for being quiet, mysterious and aloof at first. Someone, in return, called me tomboy for calling pretty girls as “chicks”. Someone I even had the same crush with. Someone I always kid, “Kakaiba ka talaga” for getting people’s attention in a party or a road doing nothing, whatever they are, boy, girl, gay, tomboy.

You were someone who has the most sensitive nose and neck. Someone who has the most ticklish body ever. Someone who loves the smell of women’s perfume than men’s.

You were someone who was sick during my debut and told me you would not come but there you were. Someone who left after my program to play DOTA but promised me that will come back then woke me up the following morning just to say goodbye.

You were someone who makes maniac gestures in the middle of a sleepy class but would stop it when others take a look, which makes me looks like crazy laughing at nothing. Someone always tease me with one of the our weird classmates ever. Someone started that issue about Kristian and I during an Anaphysio Class. Someone will make stories about me, someone, or any other else as if they will real and would just end up laughing when I said, “Kalokohan mo” or “Mapanirang tao ka talaga”.

You were someone I always asked before a quiz or an exam and would answer correct even though you said you hadn’t reviewed the lectures yet. Someone when asked about home works would just answer, “Hindi ko alam eh”. Someone I will coach during a test and will get higher score than me.

You were someone who cried for the very first time, in front of me because of that irritating attention you received from someone then proudly told others that you did. Someone always cry not of sadness but because of receiving an overwhelming comfort.

You were someone who would laugh at my jokes no matter how stupid they are. Someone whom I can share my silly thoughts with but never raised eyebrows for that. Someone never got tired of listening to my unending stories about an ex-boyfriend. And someone who will not stop annoying me when I said I have something to tell even that has nothing to do with you.

You were someone I can hug in a crowd without you pushing me. Someone who won’t mind having my hands wrap around your arms and play with your muscles. Someone who loves it when I give your sweat hands as a massage. Someone I always smell despite of being perspired. Someone would play with my hands full of paint. Someone who’d play tired and let me pull him in the hands with all my strength. Someone would text an old man who gave me his mobile number. Someone who surprised me that he really can give me a piggy-back no matter how thin he is. Someone who is so close to me that was even mistaken to be my boyfriend.

You were the first one who gave me that lollipop I’m craving for so much. And that someone who touched me when you said, “Ang galing mo naman, kahit badtrip na ‘ko, napapatawa mo pa rin ako”.

You were someone who can push me to be strong in spite of things that suck. Someone who made me believe that everything's going to be okay. Someone will dance when I’m not in the mood. Someone accompanies me when everyone else has left. Someone promised to never leave and to wear that black toga with me two years from now.

Then this day, I woke up and realized that you couldn’t be, anymore.

With Love,
Ariane

P.S.
Thanks for all the memories, the stories, the thoughts, the secrets, everything. I’ll miss you.

Another goodbye

For a minute or two, I was happy when I saw my name on the official list of the Candidates for Capping. But, I really can't continue to smile and jump for joy knowing that a lot of people failed, especially those who became so special to me already.

Every semester, some people should have to say goodbye. And they will be added to the number of people you’ve lost before. Which is, the same reason why it doubles the pain you once felt.

I’ve gone through these things last semester, five months ago. But I have moved on somehow. I learned to accept that, yeah, maybe things really happen for reasons. I used to be okay but tonight, it just becomes too much. More than what it was. And I really can’t believe that I have to get over with this feeling. Again.

The news that came just few hours ago is so damn depressing. It doesn’t just hurt. It really sucks to feel this way. I don’t understand the way it is. And I bet time can never teach me how to.

Why? Again?

With Love,
Ariane

Leaving

How could you say goodbye when you don’t really want to leave? How could you say you are coming back when you know there’s just a bit of assurance that you are?

All I know is that, I’m going to miss everyone. Or maybe, much appropriate as every thing I have here.
Psst. Wag kayong magtatampo ah? Kung masakit naman sa inyo, mas masakit sakin eh. Kasi kapag umalis ako, isa lang naman mamimiss niyo, ako lang, kasi ako lang yung aalis. Pero ako, madaming mamimiss, kasi lahat kayo, maiiwan ko. Kayo, pwede pag magkita-kita, pero ako, hindi na pwede.

Pwede din namang, pag alis ko, mamimiss niyo ko ng ilang araw, ilang linggo, ilang buwan. Pero imposible rin sigurong ilang taon. Siguro pwede, pero yung natural na pagkamiss na lang, hindi tulad ng dati. Kasi isa lang naman ako eh. Pwedeng pag-alis ko, may darating na bagong “Arrah” “Ariane” “Aian” “Baby Girl” “Yhan” “Arrahliciouz” “Enaira”, etc. sa buhay niyo. At pwedeng pagdating ng araw na yun, makalimutan niyo na ring minsan akong naging bahagi ng buhay niyo.

With Love,
Ariane

P.S.
I’m trying to stay but time is separating us.

Last goodbye baby

As I look back on all thats happened -- growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me -- there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I'll truly miss you and how much I truly love you. I’m trying to but I can't hide from these memories, because, they're there and no matter how hard I try to, I know they'll always be there.

Yes, we had said good-bye so many times before, but somehow we always managed our paths to cross and ended up in each others arms. But now when we said this good-bye, I have this feeling that I will never see you again. And that really hurts because I know that we are meant to lead our own separate lives. And I honestly don’t wanna cross your path in the future again ‘cause I don’t want all these feelings to come back and have to try to get over all over again.

It hasn't sunk in yet. I haven't totally realized that you'd pushed me out of your heart forever. I'm not sure I want it to hit me fully yet because I know that when it does, I will feel pain like nothing I have ever felt before. Life wouldn't be the same without you and all the memories you have given me but the pain is too strong right now and the tears are still lingering on my face. That is why I think it is best that I just go.

With Love,
Ariane